Equal Rights for All

So let me get this straight... Larry King is on his 8th divorce, Elizabeth Taylor is possibly getting married for a 9th time, Britney Spears had a 55 hour marriage, Jesse James and Tiger Woods, while married, were having sex with everyone on the planet, yet the idea of same-sex marriage is going to destroy the institution of marriage? Really?? Stupid.

Support equal rights for all no matter what a couple's gender is.

Dr. Seuss

Theodor Seuss Geisel; March 2, 1904 – September 24, 1991) was an American writer and cartoonist most widely known for his children's books written under the pen name Dr. Seuss. He published 44 children's books, which were often characterized by imaginative characters, and rhyme. His most celebrated books include the bestselling Green Eggs and Ham, The Cat in the Hat, One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish, Horton Hears a Who? and How the Grinch Stole Christmas! Numerous adaptations of his work have been created, including eleven television specials three feature films and a Broadway musical.

Geisel also worked as an illustrator for advertising campaigns most notably for Flit and Standard Oil and as a political cartoonist for PM, a New York City newspaper. During World War II he worked in an animation department of the U.S. Army where he wrote Design for Death, a film that later won the 1947 Academy Award for Documentary Feature

One of his best known quotes is: "Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

Lookey Loos and Gossip Mongers

I've always wondered why there is a segment of the population that just loves to wallow in gossip. That feed off of drama, bad energy and anger like starving hyenas. These people are so miserable being themselves that the only means at their disposal that give any meaning to their lives is to furtively forage into the lives of others, and the more garbage they find the happier they become, clapping their hands together in glee at the misfortunes of other people. They don't care about anything good or positive nor do they care to focus on the best in the people around them. They look for the dirt, the mud, and the worst in people. The worst the better. More to gape, more trash to spew out of their mouths.

I've had this blog since 2006. It's a place where I like to write and process my thoughts and feelings. I don't advertise it, because frankly it isn't anybody's business. Since I started it, I've had maybe 15 people visit , who have basically stumbled upon it by accident. Since last week, I've had over 260 people visit. It's not something I'm grateful for or happy about, because the people who are visiting are scavengers; empty, bitter men and women who got wind of something negative, something dirty, and like diseased rats stick their noses up in the air, sniffing earnestly for any stench of gossip they can follow and perpetuate with their like minded brethren.

Honestly, they make me sick.

I will never apologize for being who I am. I will never apologize for expressing myself when I feel I have a right to. This is my personal blog and I can write anything I want to. My personal life is nobody's business. I felt used and I expressed what I felt in a normal, matter-of-fact way. People can agree or disagree. I don't care. But when somebody comes into my world spouting hateful comments and vicious accusations, because they don't agree with me, I will defend myself. I'm not going to let anybody sully my reputation for the simple reason that they don't like how I think or perceive things. Sorry that isn't my problem.

I have bumped into a couple people the last few days who have looked at me with disdain, acting as if their opinion of me matters. People who automatically jump to conclusions based on the ramblings of an angry woman who probably isn't used to anybody questioning her motives. Just for the record, it doesn't matter. Speaking more directly, you don't mean anything to me whatsoever. Feel free to make your faces, make your comments, talk smack to your fellow hyenas and do all the other things Lookey Loos and Gossip Mongers like yourselves do. It's what you thrive on. It's your sun, water, and food, what makes you grow. What keeps you bitter, angry and single. I have a quote that applicable to every one of you who fits in this category. "What you don't see with your eyes, don't witness with your mouth."

I have my friends who I love and care about very much. They know me in a way that you never will and they embrace me exactly as I am. You aren't part of my life nor am I interested in having you in it. You are everything I despise in a human being, the same attributes you deep down despise in yourself.

I feel sorry for the lot of you.

Dancing with the Stars: Season 11

I can freestyle dance fairly well, but I have absolutely no clue how to do specialty dances like the Texas Two-Step, Ballroom, Salsa, etc. I've even taken some lessons, but to no avail. I'm still a klutz.

Because I've made the effort to learn, I know how difficult it is, which is why I admire the people who participate in Dances with the Stars. I watch sometimes with my jaw on the floor at the intricacies of some of the moves. They really are amazing.

As couples were eliminated one by one I was perplexed that Bristol Palin and her partner managed to avoid the axe every week. I give her a lot of credit for entering the competition with zero experience as an actress, performer or dancer and going head to head with other contestants who left the womb doing a dance routine. However, I felt that there was a lot of back room politicizing going on as well, which helped feed the ratings.

When Brandy got dumped in favor of Bristol I was really taken aback and couldn't understand how people could elevate her another level at the expense of a woman who had so much more obvious talent. Comparing the dancing talents of both is like comparing a bottle of exceptional Pinot Noir with a bottle of Boon's Farm. It's unfortunate that people voting were more concerned about Bristol's mother's political credentials than Bristol's dancing abilities.

What counted, however, was the final and I was glad to see Jennifer Grey and her partner, Derek Houghm, give an amazing performance at the final and ultimately showed everyone that true talent always rises to the top.

Halloween and Solitude

Tonight is the night that little kids, and adults that still think they are kids, don their costumes and hit the streets, or a good party. Usually I'm all for going out and celebrating, but for some reason this year I have chosen to spend the entire Halloween Weekend alone at home. I've been invited to various Halloween functions, but have declined them all because none of them seem.....fun for some reason....something is missing.

I've spent my time alone reading, meditating, napping, playing Scrabble on Facebook, sending texts and talking on the phone with friends. I enjoy the solitude. This may sound odd, but sometimes I think that fun is over rated. When we are constantly on the go, looking for the next Social Fix, scurrying about like little hamsters on meth, we tend to lose sight of ourselves. We become so focused on the external, the stoking of the flame, that we lose a bit of ourselves in the process. If we aren't careful we can truly get lost, wandering around like disembodied spirits looking for a place to anchor ourselves.

Next year I may wind up spending the entire Halloween weekend dressed up in costume; dancing the night away with a White Russian in my hand. But for today anyway, I'm going to enjoy the introspection and the joy that goes along with it.

Burning Man, 2010

Perceptions

I wss talking with a friend the other day and we got on the subject of relationships. We both agreed that relationships take work, but once both people come to an understanding and are able to bridge their differences, things can proceed accordingly.

I came to the conclusion that the issue isn't so much our differences, but our perceptions of those differences and how they compare to our own set of values.

Everybody has a different range of sensitivity and their own way of absorbing the world and interacting with it. If we perceive the taste of chocolate different or rock climbing, it isn't a problem because those perceptions are personal ones and we never really know how the people in our lives are experiencing anything. However, when we are in a relationship it's a totally different set of circumstances. How our partner perceives us and how we perceive them has a direct bearing on how we relate to each other and get along. It's not so much that we do things differently, whether it's an act or a way of thinking about something, but our overall perception that propels our reaction.

A couple could have very distinctive communication styles, but how they assimilate what's being verbalized is really what sets the tone for what transpires after the exchange. For example, the woman in a relationship might be very open, and blunt to the point of being brusque. When other people relate to her in the same way, it's not a problem because her perception is that speaking ones mind is normal communication. But if she is in a relationship with a man who is more sensitive, and measures what he says and how he says it, her words are going to be perceived by him as being rude and hurtful. If he verbalizes his unhappiness, her perception is going to be that he's too sensitive and can't handle the truth. See how screwed up things can get?

The best thing to do in these situations is for both people in the relationship to modify their communication style and their perceptions. Taking the above example, the woman can practice better communication skills by learning to measure and soften the way she says things. She can still get her point across by being more indirect and tactful. This is showing her partner that she cares enough about him to filter herself. She's still being herself, but presenting her personality in such a way that it does not cause her partner to respond in a negative manner ie. shutting down, getting angry, etc.

The man can improve his communication skills by learning not to personalize anything, but to take everything she says at face value; understanding that her bluntness is her being her, not an indicator of her not being into her partner or caring about him or his feelings. If both partners are willing to make changes, their relationship will conversely improve.