Palin?

When I found out that Grandpa McCain selected Governor Palin from Alaska to run for governor, I almost vomited from laughing so hard. Until this morning, I didn't know that she even existed. What a left field pick.

For the last 18 months we have been subjected to sound bite after sound bite out of the McCain camp lambasting Obama's lack of experience, his naivety, his supposed superficiality. And now McCain goes ahead and chooses a V.P. with even less experience then Obama, and worse, the experience she has is mainly local politics and a two your stint as governor of one of the least populous states in the nation. What the fuck was he thinking?

She's a definite VILF (my phrase) but other than that what on earth does she have to bring to the political table? Obviously Grandpa McCain is pandering to disgruntled female voters who wanted Hillary in the White House. Does he think they are so stupid that they can't see such an obvious ploy to get votes? It's insulting.

Picking Plain as his running mate really shows an incredible lack of judgement on the part of McCain. If he won the presidency and then keeled over half way through, would anybody with half a brain want Plain to take over as President to lead the country? A woman who was a mayor of a town so small it does not need stop lights? A woman with absolutely no national leadership experience? A woman who nobody has heard of in the rest of the 49 states?

Plain is absolutely and completely out of her league. The job of V.P. is an extremely important one. If something happens to the President they have to be able to step up and take over and lead decisively. It's a huge responsibility. Maybe Plain can handle a town council meeting, but running the United States is something that she is not capable of doing and the American people are not going to trust her with that job. They can see beyond shallow political ideology.

After seeing Obama last night, their is no doubt in my mind that this man is ready to be President of the United States. What an incredibly hard hitting, but eloquent speech. He couldn't have done a better job. It filled me with hope that this country can regain its footing on the world stage. Maybe McCain was so floored by Obama's words that he really believes Obama should be President, and as a result he is subconsciously sabotaging his campaign. Who knows?

What I do know is that McCain's decision is going to cost him this election.

The One, The Only, George Carlin

For the most part I believe that Carlin's description of politicians and politics is on the money, but I also know that there are certain individuals, who come around every generation or so, that leave their mark on the world and the political landscape; who change the world with their legacy. Lincoln, Roosevelt and Kennedy are men I hold up as examples of men who possessed the types of qualities necessary to lead and bring people together. Men who went beyond the mundane, the trivial and made the kind of choices that changed the very fabric of our society. Men with attributes that transcend what it is to be a leader. I believe Barak Obama is one of those individuals.


"Forget the politicians. The politicians are put there to give you the idea that you have freedom of choice . . . you don’t. You have no choice. You have owners. They own you. They own everything. They own all the important land. They own, and control the corporations. They’ve long since bought, and paid for the Senate, the Congress, the state houses, the city halls, they got the judges in their back pockets and they own all the big media companies, so they control just about all of the news and information you get to hear. They got you by the balls. They spend billions of dollars every year lobbying . . . lobbying, to get what they want . . . Well, we know what they want. They want more for themselves and less for everybody else, but I’ll tell you what they don’t want . . . they don’t want a population of citizens capable of critical thinking. They don’t want well informed, well educated people capable of critical thinking. They’re not interested in that . . . that doesn’t help them. That’s against their interests. That’s right. They don’t want people who are smart enough to sit around a kitchen table and think about how badly they’re getting fucked by a system that threw them overboard 30 fuckin' years ago. They don’t want that. You know what they want? They want obedient workers . . . Obedient workers, people who are just smart enough to run the machines and do the paperwork. And just dumb enough to passively accept all these increasingly shittier jobs with the lower pay, the longer hours, the reduced benefits, the end of overtime and vanishing pension that disappears the minute you go to collect it, and now they’re coming for your Social Security money. They want your fuckin' retirement money. They want it back so they can give it to their criminal friends on Wall Street, and you know something? They’ll get it . . . they’ll get it all from you sooner or later cause they own this fuckin' place. It’s a big club and you ain't in it. You and I are not in The big club. By the way, it’s the same big club they use to beat you over the head with all day long when they tell you what to believe. All day long beating you over the head with their media telling you what to believe, what to think and what to buy. The table has tilted folks. The game is rigged and nobody seems to notice. Nobody seems to care. Good honest hard-working people . . . white collar, blue collar it doesn’t matter what color shirt you have on. Good honest hard-working people continue, these are people of modest means . . . continue to elect these rich cocksuckers who don’t give a fuck about you. They don’t give a fuck about you . . . they don’t give a fuck about you. They don’t care about you at all . . . at all . . . at all, and nobody seems to notice. Nobody seems to care. That’s what the owners count on. The fact that Americans will probably remain willfully ignorant of the big red, white and blue dick that’s being jammed up their assholes everyday, because the owners of this country know the truth. It’s called the American Dream cause you have to be asleep to believe it . . .”

Actual Answering Machine Messages

In case you get bored with your, "Hi this is ____________ please leave your name and number and I'll call you as soon as I can," choose a creative message from this very entertaining list of possibilities.

Actual Answering Machine Messages

• "A" is for academics, "B" is for beer. One of those reasons is why we're not here. So leave a message.
• Hi. This is John. If you are the phone company, I already sent the money. If you are my parents, please send money. If you are my financial aid institution, you didn't lend me enough money. If you are my friends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have plenty of money.
• (Narrator's voice:) There Dale sits, reading a magazine. Suddenly the telephone rings! The bathroom explodes into a veritable maelstrom of toilet paper, with Dale in the middle of it, his arms windmilling at incredible speeds! Will he make it in time? Alas no, his valiant effort is in vain.
• The bell hath sounded. Thou must leave a message.
• Please leave a message. However, you have the right to remain silent. Everything you say will be recorded and will be used by us.
• Hi. I'm probably home, I'm just avoiding someone I don't like. Leave me a message, and if I don't call back, it's you.
• WE ARE BORG. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE. YOU WILL BE ASSIMILATED. But we're not home right now. So leave a message at the tone, and we'll assimilate you later.
• Hi! John's answering machine is broken. This is his refrigerator. Please speak very slowly, and I'll stick your message to myself with one of these magnets.
• Hello, this is Ron's toaster. Ron's new answering machine is in the shop for repairs, so please leave your message when the toast is done... (Cachunk! )
• (Very fast:) Hi, this is 904-4344. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number. If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and (BEEP)
• This is the Literacy Self Test Hotline. After the tone, leave your name and number, and recite a sentence using today's vocabulary word. Today's word is "supercilious."
• Greetings, you have reached the Sixth Sense Detective Agency. We know who you are and what you want, so at the sound of the tone, please hang up.
• I can't come to the phone now because I have amnesia and I feel stupid talking to people I don't remember. I'd appreciate it if you could help me out by leaving my name and telling me something about myself. Thanks.
• Thank you for calling the CSU Automated Hearing Test Line. Prepare for Test 1. Is this tone louder in your left ear or right ear? ... BEEP
• (Rod Sterling imitation:) You're dazed, bewildered, trapped in a world without time, where sound collides with color and shadows explode. You see a signpost up ahead-this is no ordinary telephone answering device... You have reached, "The Twilight Phone".
• Thank you for calling the Metropolitan Church of the Holy Bible. Today's commandment is Number 6, Thou shalt not... er... Bear a... er...Shalt not witness thy... uh... Neighbor's, Oh, I mean, false... er...Shalt not commit a bear... Darn...
• I can't come to the phone now, so if, well, actually, I CAN come to the phone now, I mean, like, I'm at the phone NOW, recording this message, but I'm doing this NOW, while you're listening to it LATER, except for you I guess it's NOW, like, when you're listening to it... I mean, like, wait, gosh. This is so confusing.
• (Recorded directly from AT&T:) The number you have reached, 226-0477, has been changed. The new number is 226-0477. Please make a note of it.
• You have reached the CPX-2000 Voice Blackmail System. Your voice patterns are now being digitally encoded and stored for later use. Once this is done, our computers will be able to use the sound of YOUR voice for literally thousands of illegal and immoral purposes. There is no charge for this initial consultation. However, our staff of professional extortionists will contact you in the near future to further explain the benefits of our service, and to arrange for your schedule of payment. Remember to speak clearly at the sound of the tone. Thank you.
• (Klingon voice:) ANSWERING MACHINE. SPEAK.
• You have reached the number you have dialed. Please leave a message after the beep.
• Now I lay me down to sleep; Leave a message at the beep. If I die before I wake, Remember to erase the tape.

Roth Motors Sucks

If you are in the market for a scooter, don't make the mistake I did and purchase a scooter by the losers who founded this company.

I bought my scooter (I know Roth Motors calls it a "power board" but honestly, it's just a fucking scooter) mainly because I let myself get over dazzled by their web site. It's clean, elegant, very European. Just the name alone is enough to con you into making a purchase; Roth Motors. Sounds like a place of business you would find in Newport Beach or Beverly Hills. Very high end and sleek.

Unfortunately, like a record from Paris Hilton, it's all flash with no substance.

I bought my scooter for $1,000.00. I thought it would be a good investment. I'm taking the train to work now and I needed something that I could fold up with me and take on the train. Something not only light, but well built and preferably U.S. made. The 2000 XR seemed to meet all the criteria; it folds nicely and weighs around 20 pounds. It was engineered here and built in California. I thought the price was kind of stiff, and remember I'm a teacher, not a stock broker, but hey it sure looked good on line and I really believed what they had to say.

I ordered my scooter on July 1st. It arrived about a week later. Being somewhat impulsive, I thought to just take the scooter out of the box and start riding it. However, remembering the cost and the huge dent in my checking account, I proceeded to read the manual in its entirety.

Following the directions, I charged up my scooter for two hours. In the morning I walked to the bus stop with my scooter in tow. Roth's web site states that the scooter weighs 16 1/2 pounds. It actually weighs close to 20 pounds. However, even so, it's the lightest thing around.

I used the scooter all day at work and drove it to the train station. I was very happy with how it ran. Unfortunately, this was to be the last full day of service I would see out of it. The second day, right outside of the train station, the charge light suddenly went on. That's a bad thing because it means that the battery has lost it's charge. What I wasn't quite understanding was why this happened, when I charged it again the night before and it was supposed to keep a full charge. According to one of the reps that e-mailed me, the XR is supposed to stay fully charged for about seven miles or so; depending on the weight of the person and the terrain. At that point I had only ridden about 1 1/2 mile. This was a harbinger of bad things to come.

When I got home I charged the scooter again. The scooter performed well during the day and I breathed a sigh of relief that there wasn't any more problems with the battery. But suddenly, right outside my work site, the charge light came on again. Seconds later the scooter just stopped in its tracks. I was forced to manually peddle the scooter 1.2 miles to the train station. As you can imagine I was very annoyed and very pissed.

The first thing I did when I got home was to e-mail a support tech, who sent me a number the next day and an address to send the scooter. Mind you I only had the scooter a total of six days, and only one full day of service. I had to call in late to work to send the scooter off to be repaired and dropped another $40.00 to UPS sending the scooter to get fixed.

That evening I sent a registered letter to the company, in particular David Roth, letting him know how disappointed I was in his product and my expectations as a consumer.

One month. Yes, that's right. I sent the company e-mail after e-mail asking them where my scooter was. All I heard was excuse after excuse. The most laughable excuse was that they needed a "part" for the scooter. What I was not able to fathom was why they had to "order a part" when supposedly the scooter was made in the U.S.A. Their corporate office is in Carlsbad and their factory is close to Palm Springs. As far as I know we no longer are using the Pony Express to deliver mail, so why would it take so long to get this so called part? After three weeks the tech, Lynn Q. a woman who I would soon after begin to despise, stated that they would send me a new scooter so I wouldn't have to wait so long. Wow, what great customer service. Only a month of waiting.

My new scooter arrived and I charged it right away. After it was fully charged, I took it out in the neighborhood for a spin. Much to my absolute disgust, it ran for about five minutes and then petered out like a sick, old man with emphysema. I sat there looking at it, not believing that this brand new scooter was dead in the water and about as useful as rudderless ship. I immediately went in the house and again contacted Roth Motors and emphatically told them that I would be shipping back the scooter and that I expected to have my entire purchase price refunded. The next day Lynn Q. sent me another address to send the scooter.

I again had to take time off to mail off the scooter and dropped another $40.00 to send the scooter back. For those of you who are bad at math, shipping costs have now pushed me back $80.00. From the 15 of August until right after Labor Day I was waiting for my refund. I sent another e-mail and was told by Lynn Q. that the money would be credited to my account "early in the week." Ten days later I hadn't received my refund and again sent another e-mail to the company. Lynn Q. apologized for the delay and said that they would credit my account that morning. Later on during the day I received another e-mail from Lynn Q. apologizing for bothering me, but that they were not able to credit the account because the card wasn't working. Being seconds away from imploding, I e-mailed her back to let her know that they had written the wrong card number. I told them that I was not going to e-mail the correct card number over the internet and to please call me on my cell phone. I didn't hear from them the entire day.

The next day I sent another e-mail to Lynn Q. demanding that they refund my money and to put it in my PayPal account that same day. I further stated that if I didn't receive the money I would be forced to drive down to Carlsbad and speak to her personally. The following day I got an e-mail stating that the money owed me had been deposited in my PayPal account. Because Lynn Q. couldn't be bothered to just call me and get my credit card number over the phone, I incurreda $30.00 PayPal fee. That brought up my total cash outlay to over $100.00, not counting all the untold time I wasted dealing with all these issues.

All in all, I dealt with these people for more than two solid months. It was the worst ordeal of my life.

What I learned from this experience:

When you send an owner of a company two registered letters with your phone number and they don't bother to give a response, that is a good indicator that they don't give a shit about you or your hard earned money.

When a company has a web site with no phone, that is a big red flag, even bigger than when a woman you are interested in tells you that she has three kids from three different fathers. I'm going to assume that Roth Motors has a phone somewhere, but they don't use it or they are too cheap to outsource their tech help personnel to India.

I also want to point out again, reiterate, that I sent David Rother two certified letters, with return receipt requested and my phone number. I never heard from him or one of his monkeys the entire two months of this ordeal. If the head of a company can't take five minutes to call a customer and apologize, or even try to spin the problem, there is a major structural problem going on.

Attendum: While looking for another scooter this weekend, I had the opportunity to speak to a local business owner who sells scooters and other similar types of transportation. He stated he talked with David Roth recently. Roth told him that he no longer is with the company and apparently Roth Motors has already gone through bankruptcy proceedings. Not a good sign.

If this blog isn't enough to dissuade you from purchasing a scooter from these Bozos then by all means have at it. I'm providing this as a service to those people who prefer to deal with a company that has a phone, has customer service, follows through with requests, sells a product that actually works, and demonstrates some level of competency in their business dealings.

On top of that, it might behoove you to look at the cost of replacing a few things. The battery for the 2000 XR costs $500.00. No, that is not a typo. The battery is five hundred dollars. In other words, the battery costs half of what the scooter originally cost. If the battery can go about 350-450 charges, that means that in less than two years you will have to fork over another $500.00. During this period you will also have probably bought wheels and other misc. parts that invariably break down. That's a pretty high maintainance scooter.

I learned my lesson. I hope you won't have too. At this point I'm going to buy a GoPed.

Ribbon Based Economy