Bush Farts

People Who Shop at Whole Foods

What's with the people who shop at Whole Foods?

I'm into eating healthy and I try to eat as organic as possible, but just because a person wants to eat healthy does not mean they should forever deny themselves the simple pleasures of a piece of chocolate cake or an ice cream cone. When you deny yourself you eventually break down and gorge like a POW that's been sitting in a Hanoi prison ten years and then is rescued and dropped off by helicopter at the local Home Town Buffet.

I think that's part of the reason why their are so many assholes and nuerotic freaks at Whole Foods.

Just last Saturday I was in line and the lady in front of me got irate at the bagger because he had "dropped" a bag of apples into her bag. He didn't drop them. He put them in the bag. I witnessed the whole thing. Yet the woman refused to buy them because she said she heard them "thump" and she feared that in morning they would all be bruised. I was temped to tell her that they were put into a bag, not dropped from the top of the Effiel Tower, but decided to keep my mouth shut. You would have thought the guy had dropped her dumb baby into the bag the way she was fussing about. When she left I did my best Irate Bitch Lady imitation to the chuckling delight of the cashier and bagger who I assume put up with similar crap from similar genetically disposed customers on a daily basis. Honestly, I feel sorry for them.

The bagger told me, while I was fumbling around looking for my ATM card, that he had a lady get mad at him a few hours before because he wasn't putting her grocery items in the bag in the same order she would take them out to put in her cupboards when she got home. The bagger said he looked at her and asked if she really expected him to know how she placed food items in her cupboards. If I had to deal with people like that hour after endless hour, I would probably break down and then get arrested for gouging out someones eye.

All I can say is that no matter what you eat you are going to die eventually anyway, so if you are a Whole Foods shopper and fall into the category of Neurotic Mess of a Human Being, take that into account before making a scene at the grocery store and embarrassing yourself.