Reply to a Student Journal Entry

Most of my students suffer from a myraid of mental problems and have significantly impaired coping skills. A good percentage of them are dual diagnosis, with one of the most prominant being Anti-social/Conduct disorder paired with Borderline personality disorder. Students like this have an extremely low tolerance for frustration, are very impulsive, have a penchant for over-dramatization, poor ability to maintain healthy relationships, poor boundaries, poor insight, and frequently act out, oftentimes towards themselves. As a teacher it can be very challenging working with these students. One of the students currently enrolled is school is very problematic and although she isn't my student from the standpoint that she's assigned to a different class, she still has to be dealt with. The following is a reply to her journal entry.

"You mentioned in your journal that there is no alternative for people so they act out, as if by doing so they are somehow getting back at them, whoever "them" may be. Do you see how this isn’t logical? When a person does something to themselves i.e. cut themselves, eat batteries, whatever, the only person they are hurting is themselves. People around them might feel bad, but ultimately the person who is going to suffer is the person doing the cutting. Cutting oneself as a way to retaliate against people and the system is like throwing oneself in front of a bus to protest world hunger. Being dead is not going to change the fact that people are starving in the world. That’s flawed logic.

Regarding the comment that people cut themselves because they have no family or friends, although there are people who have neither, there is always some type of support if the person takes the time to seek out help. The problem is that people don’t want to take the time to connect with someone or make the phone calls necessary to hook up with an agency or an individual who can help them. There are dozens if not hundreds of individuals and agencies who are equipped to help a person in need. However, they can’t read minds and people in need shouldn’t expect them to. If my car breaks down should I get mad and cut myself because the auto repair shop down the street didn’t fix the problem, even though I didn’t call them? Do you see what I’m getting at? If a person is hurting, they need to express their desire for help. Expressing themselves by hurting themselves is counter productive.

Ultimately J______, YOU are responsible for your life. You can’t blame your caregivers, the hospital, the staff, your teacher, whomever, for your problems. Ninty-nine percent of your problems are caused by how you react to things. You get upset and you go off or hurt yourself. Being that you are now an adult, you have to start taking responsibility for how you react to a given situation. Every time something happens or you are in a situation that is upsetting you have to think things through thoroughly. Whatever the outcome is, you are responsible for it. Take responsibility for your actions. You can’t cop out and blame others for your poor choices and your lack of control.

Remember this adage. The way you think affects the way you feel. The way you feel affects the way you act, your behavior. Everything works synergeticly. (together) You have to change your thinking about a few things as they concern your life. When you start thinking differently, you will start feeling differently. You’ll feel happy and more positive, more in control of yourself. At that point you won’t act out because you will understand - realize - that the way you have been handling things has not made you happy or your life better and more fulfilling. It’s a process and you have to practice every day. You are capable of changing your life, if you choose to.

I will leave you with this last thought. Nobody is responsible for your life, you are."

Mr. L

June 21, 2006

As a footnote this probably won't make a bit of difference, but giving up means I am no longer a teacher.